Hi, I'm Steve Jobs. Have you noticed a recent inability to, well, get things moving? Do you find yourself sitting on the toilet for what seems to be an eternity? Has your local Super Shopping Center lost business because of reduced sales of rolled paper? If so, you need the new
The Apple iPoop is not a drug. It's a technological device. You simply insert it into your bottom. You may feel a certain increase in personal coolness, but this is normal. It's an Apple product after all. Simply leave it in place for the duration of one music track and then you'll soon see why all the kids are using it.
Each iPoop is good for thousands of uses. Simply recover the device before flushing the toilet, rinse it off, and it's good for another day.
WARNING: Do not exceed two uses in any single twenty four hour period.
Tell your friends "Hey, iPoop!" The new Apple iPoop. Join the MovementTM.